For Women, By Women
A 2021st for Women: Nikki Loots
After spending years on the “playgrounds” of the rich and glamorous, self-love expert, Nikki Loots, gave it all up and found herself on a journey of self-discovery – a “love affair” with herself where she finally came to understand true joy and happiness. She now teaches women all over the world how to start living their best lives. But that means overcoming certain fears and taking chances. Nikki told media personality Uveka Rangappa about being Fearless through it all.
1. You’ve really LIVED an adventurous life that many would envy. What was your “Fearless first”?
My biggest fear was deciding to listen to my heart instead of all the advice from others. I was at a crossroads in my life and wanted to exit the yachting industry after seven years. The money and security were great, but it was soul destroying. I had flown to Indonesia to start a new job and as I set foot in Bali, every atom in my body was screaming, “Do not get on that boat!”
An inner voice told me to go find the true meaning of life and discover who I really was. It was petrifying because for 28 years it was always about making everyone else happy. I finally stopped making decisions based on fear, and I listened to my gut, my heart and my intuition. I stayed in Bali, and embarked on a journey of self-realisation, deep self-love and acceptance. Today this is exactly what I teach others.
1. From the age of 21 you worked and lived among rich people in luxury – but you were still not happy – why?
I believed wealth solved all problems and brought happiness. While I watched billionaires acquire anything they wanted, I saw emptiness in their eyes, and realised I felt the same. The more I focused on material wealth, the less I felt connected to myself.
- What did it take to walk away from it?
I knew if I wanted my life to change, I had to change. I had spent so many years trying to be the “perfect woman” and wanting others to like me, that I never asked the question, “Do I like myself?” I’d spent years steeped in self-criticism, guilt and shame. When I set the intention to heal my relationship with myself, the path became clear.
4. How do you use your experience to teach women to love themselves?
I learnt to take responsibility for my own happiness. I worked through a lot of forgiveness, letting go and acceptance. As a self-love mentor I create a safe space for my clients to do the same. I guide them through different processes to connect to who they really are, what they truly want and to start trusting that they are worthy. Together we work with the subconscious mind, reprogramming life-long beliefs and I provide them with tools to build self-love, confidence and self-worth.
5. Is finding out who they really are, scary for many women?
Yes. Many of us have been conditioned to dress, act and speak a certain way as women. If we do not fit the mould, we feel shame and guilt. We are also seldom taught to question who we are. Stripping away all the layers we have built up to fit in can be incredibly frightening. A lot of women are afraid to change in case their partners, family or friends do not like it. The biggest objection I hear from women is that they don’t have the time or money to do the work.
6. What do you say to women about facing their fears and making the change to live their best lives?
The person you spend the most time with is yourself. What you think, how you feel, and how you treat yourself matters. Remember it’s YOUR heart, YOUR happiness and YOUR responsibility. Get to know who you are. The more time you spend with yourself, without judgement and expectation, the deeper your bond will grow and you’ll soon start to realise that you’re not looking for the light, you are looking for you. You ARE THE LIGHT!