Strong Woman Syndrome: Why Constant Resilience Is Leaving Women Exhausted | First for Women

Why being called “strong” is not always empowering

 For many women, being called strong sounds like praise. It often comes wrapped in admiration. You are dependable. You always show up. You can handle anything. But beneath that praise can be a dangerous expectation that women should carry endless responsibilities without breaking.

As highlighted in First for Women’s Her and Now: Insights into the Women of South Africa 2025 report, more than 90% of women say people assume they can handle everything because they are seen as resilient. What is often framed as empowerment can quickly become exhaustion disguised as admiration.

Jill Snijman, Head of Marketing at First for Women, captured this reality clearly when she wrote, “We’ve built an entire mythology around the ‘strong woman’. She weathers every storm, carries every burden and emerges victorious against all odds. But what happens when the very strength we celebrate becomes the prison that confines?”

 

The hidden cost of emotional labour

 

Many women are carrying responsibilities that extend far beyond their own personal needs. They often become emotional anchors for families, partners, friends, workplaces, and communities.

The report found that 68% of women say others depend on them emotionally, financially, or socially every single day. Meanwhile, 67% feel expected to keep everything together.

That constant demand creates an invisible form of labour that often goes unnoticed. Women are expected to be caregivers, problem-solvers, financial contributors, and emotional support systems all at once.

As Jill explains, “This results in relentless expectation that women serve as the scaffolding holding up everyone else’s lives while their own foundations quietly crumble.”

 

Why guilt keeps women from choosing themselves

Even when women try to prioritise themselves, guilt often follows.

The report found that 64% of women feel guilty about spending money on themselves. For many, self-care is still viewed as selfish rather than necessary.

This guilt can show up in everyday decisions. Rest feels unearned. Asking for help feels uncomfortable. Setting boundaries feels selfish.

The reality is that many women have been conditioned to believe their value is tied to how much they sacrifice for others.

  

Financial pressure is making things harder

Financial independence remains deeply important for many women, but the path toward it is often filled with pressure.

The report found that 88% of women believe financial independence is essential for happiness, yet many still face barriers that make that freedom difficult to achieve.

Women are often balancing personal ambitions with household responsibilities, caregiving demands, and broader financial pressures.

As Dr. Reitumetse Mpholle explains, “While legal and educational progress has opened doors, the realities of race, class, and gender still shape access to safety, freedom, and opportunity.”

 

 

 

Why softness is becoming a form of strength

One of the most powerful insights from the report is that many women are beginning to redefine what strength looks like.

Strength is no longer only about pushing through exhaustion. Increasingly, women are choosing rest, boundaries, vulnerability, and peace.

The report found that 58% of women believe the right to exhale is just as important as the drive to succeed.

Jill describes this shift perfectly: “The most radical act a ‘strong woman’ can perform is to be soft. Softness is intentional vulnerability, the courage to acknowledge limits, the wisdom to ask for help.”

 

What needs to change

 

This conversation goes beyond individual choices. It also requires societal change.

Workplaces need better policies. Families need more equitable support systems. Communities need to stop romanticising female exhaustion.

Women should not have to prove their strength through burnout.

As Jill writes, “The goal is not to discard strength, but to redefine it.”

  

A different future for women

The data is clear. Women are asking for something different.

They want safety. They want peace. They want financial stability. They want support systems that allow them to thrive without constant sacrifice.

And perhaps most importantly, they want the freedom to be fully human.

• To read the full original thought leadership article, visit Mail & Guardian.

 

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FAQs

What is strong woman syndrome?

 It refers to the pressure many women feel to constantly be resilient, dependable, and emotionally available.

Why do women experience burnout?

 Burnout often stems from emotional labour, financial pressure, caregiving responsibilities, and lack of support.

What is emotional labour?

Emotional labour refers to the invisible work of managing emotions, caregiving, and supporting others.

Why are women redefining strength?

Many women are prioritising rest, boundaries, and wellbeing over constant sacrifice.