I'm OK you're OK: happy at last

Posted on Monday, August 17, 2015

So much of a woman's early life is punctuated with confusion and uncertainty. We struggle to define ourselves, to relate to others in healthy ways or to identify the things that will make us truly happy. And then, at some point in our adult lives, we settle into who we really are and start to enjoy the power of our femininity.

This maturity (which can happen at any age) allows us to be happy for ourselves and others and feel more settled about the life path that we have taken. Here are the six signs that you have started to find your emotional and spiritual place in the world.

You're happy with who you are
You may never learn to love your bumpy nose, sticking out ears or thick ankles, but your least favourite bit just doesn't bother you anymore. It's a part of you, and you probably wouldn't change it, even if you could. Making peace with the things you can't change is one of life's great lessons, and you've learnt it along the way.

Of course, if there are things that you can change like unhealthy weight, a lack of fitness, or a tendency to back ache you've either worked through them or at least made a good start at fixing them.

You trust your intuition
If I just don't know! used to be your refrain when you had to make a decision, you'll find that you're starting to move past that. A combination of feminine wisdom and life experience means that most of the time, you DO know. If something's a bad idea, that little voice in the back of your mind will tell you, and you'll listen

Driving drunk (even only a little drunk)? Bad idea. The sensible, versatile shoes that cost more, but will last longer, or the cheaper, prettier, strappy ones that will look great with your blue dress? The sensible ones. The work that needs to be done or the dinner with friends you've been looking forward to? The dinner with friends, but you'll keep listening to your inner voice and have only one drink so you can finish the work later.

You've found your people
You've surrounded yourself with people who are good for your emotional and mental health. You're good to them, they're good to you everyone wins. You've weeded out the toxic relationships and the bring-you-down friends, and you've learnt to live with or manage the issues you have with your mother-in-law.

Now, your relationships are about mutual support, pleasure in each other's successes and happiness in each other's company. These are the people you will grow old with.

You know you can count on yourself
Although you are surrounded by friends and family who support and love you, your number-one go-to person is you. You know that you can work through any problems that present themselves. When you ask for help it's because help makes it easier, not because you can't do it on your own.

Your finances are also under control so that you know how much is coming in, how much is being saved and how much is going out. Your life and your income have come to an agreement about where you stand, and you're OK with that.

You feel that you do good in the world
Living a good life isn't only about getting something out of it, it's also about giving back. You've tapped into your nurturing soul and found the strength to share whether it's time or money that you're donating.

You see the interconnectedness of all people and do what you can to ease the burdens of others but not at your own expense. You've made peace with what you can do and aren't overcome by the feeling that nothing is ever enough.

You've banned the balance
This list may be painting a picture of a balanced woman, but in truth, you've accepted that there's no such thing. Life is hectic and helter-skelter and filled with turmoil, and those who try to achieve balance generally topple over. When you've learnt to roll with the turbulence, it's much easier to take everything that comes at you.

From strength to strength
If this story makes you long for the woman you want to become, start working on it. You are dazzlingly, uniquely you and that's something worth developing and celebrating.

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